"Sometimes, I feel like a...."

Sometimes, I feel like a outsider always looking in even when I'm in the "middle". I feel like curtains in a bedroom when I am actually the king size bed. Its so weird how everyone wants to be around me at times when I jus want to be alone. So, in this instance I am  like a body with it's soul looking in on it observing everyone around it. At these moments seeing the smerks, the frowns, the shoulder rubs, are the things I miss when I am  in the "middle".So I feel myself being blinded by attention not seeing how people are actually responding to my actions. Most of the time its easier to just fake it and pretend like  all the attention is a priviledge for being such a social butterfly; when actually its just the opposite. When I find myself  in this unfortunate, uncomfortable positon I try to think of  how it would be if I was actually needing attention and just could not get to see how the "middle" feels. But still I think maybe its easier to just enjoy life the way it was given to me whether than mope about. Because there is always some person some where wishing for those moments in your life. So, maybe being in the "middle" is not so bad real maybe it would be better I was just near it!